Celebrating Twenty-Five Years of Love, Laughter & Happily Ever After

The year was 1988. The place was Newstead Missionary Baptist Church in St. Louis, Missouri. The purpose was the 47th Annual Session of the Missionary Baptist State Congress of Christian Education of Missouri. But church was the furthest thing from the mind of the young, suited-n-booted 14-year-old "bachelor", James Paine. He'd spotted his next "prey" (ie Marissa) sitting alone on the pew across from him and his boys, and he was ready to go in for the kill. Much to his chagrin, however, 13-year-old Marissa wasn't impressed. In fact, she was turned off by his cockiness and TV rehearsed pick up lines so she gave him the wrong telephone number hoping that he would take the hint. He didn't.

A year went by before James & Marissa would see each other again. But sure enough, at the following year's church convention, the two "bumped" into each other again (Translation: He was stalking her lol). With a year of high school under his belt, James had a few new tricks up his sleeve to capture the attention of the young bachelorette...and it worked! This time, she gave him the right telephone number and the rest is history. Of course, at 14-years-old, Marissa wasn't allowed to date yet (her mom and grandparents didn't play that), so the first two years of their relationship was spent on the telephone; complimented by that annual church convention which gave them a full week every summer to sit next to each other, to eat lunch together and to eventually hold hands (smile). Their first official date was on Marissa's 16th birthday. They went on a double date and saw "New Jack City" at the Halls Ferry Cinema and from then on, the two were inseparable. Marissa & James dated all throughout high school attending football and basketball games, plays and marching band performances, high school dances and each other's graduations together. The couple remained committed even after Marissa left for college (James had stayed home the year before to attend junior college), but one year apart was all James needed to know that he preferred to be wherever Marissa was, so he joined her at Mizzou a year later and that's when and where their firstborn, Jordan, was born.

Anyone who goes back far enough will tell you that the picture perfect love James & Marissa share today was not without its dysfunction and challenge in the early years. After becoming a mother, Marissa had had enough of their tumultuous journey and made it clear that she wanted more for her life and was moving on! Faced with losing his one-and-only true love, James did what any self-respecting, visionless, unemployed father would do...he proposed! With their chunky, four-month-old son in his arms, James got down on one knee with the ring he'd bought from Walmart and asked, "Will you marry us?" She said yes and two months later, they were married (contrast that to the 18 months of planning they've done for this vow renewal lol - ahhh, the good ole' days). Disclaimer: As Co-Founders of The Foundation for Successful Marriages (www.suceesfulmarriages.org), please know that we do not recommend this path :-). Still, we're grateful for our journey and we're humbled to have the opportunity to help couples create the foundation they need to build happy and healthy marriages.

Less than sixty-days later, on a beautiful Friday evening under a gazebo at Shelter Gardens in Columbia, Missouri, James & Marissa said "I Do" before their immediate family, church community and college friends. Six-month-old Jordan stole the show with his white, short-pants tuxedo - while the buttons enclosing his chunky tummy held on for dear life! Shout out to our United Community church family and the royal blue-and-gold sorors of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority who made that day possible on about a $500 budget! James & Marissa honeymooned in Kansas City that Labor Day Weekend, and they were back in class that Tuesday.

God gets 100 percent of the glory for bringing us to this place where we prepare to celebrate twenty-five years of marriage. Growing up together and marrying before you've come to know yourself fully is a tremendously bad idea, and we immaturely did everything in our power to destroy our union. #butGod This milestone is meaningful to us for so many reasons and there are soooo many people along the way who played a part in our growth and success that celebrating alone just didn't feel right. Cheers to each one of you who loved us through the bad days, so we could last long enough to enjoy the good ones (and we know the best is yet to come)! So let's do it! #PainePartyLikeIts1995 #SoNiceTheyDoingItTwice