Story by Abby (with footnotes by Gabe): In October 2017, Gabe and Abby met the way many contemporary couples do these days: online. Abby was a student at Haverford College outside of Philadelphia and Gabe was working a corporate job nearby. On Ok Cupid, Gabe's profile said they were "looking for someone to go with to the Renaissance Faire" (1). Abby's profile said that she was "a nice Jewish girl to take home to Bubbe” (2). (Bubbe is the Yiddish word for Grandmother.) For their first date, Gabe brought over five Dungeons and Dragons textbooks to Abby's apartment and a bag of dice (3). Marvin, Abby's cat, decided to play with the dice and scatter them all over the floor (4). Instead of getting upset, Gabe laughed and cuddled with Marvin. After getting Marvin's approval, Abby knew Gabe was a keeper (5). Gabe's Commentary: 1. Abby promptly upheld this informal contract of my OK Cupid profile, and we had a great time. 2. Alas, Abby never found her own “nice Jewish” partner and instead needed to make her own. 3. Abby was certain that the “make a D&D character” date concept was mostly a pretense. She was sorely mistaken. As books began to cover every available surface around the couch I dove into manic description of the fantasy races, classes and general procedure for character creation in the game, and we walked out of that date with a solid Drow Sorcerer that would see action in the coming months. The character promptly tried to befriend a giant spider in the first adventure and nearly died. 4. He rolled a 16, as I recall. A good, sturdy roll. 5. Marvin would soon come to regret this decision. First he would jealously meow to try to draw attention from me during any displays of affection between me and Abby. Of late he seems to love me only slightly less than his mom, but I think even a couple years ago he would have been the first to object to this union.