Best Man
Would have been the next Tom Brady if he didn't decide to become the Hometown Hero of Milford, PA.
Maid of Honor
An American pioneer born several centuries too late who can care for your devil dog and is married to one herself.
Groomsman
His love for PT is exceeded only by his love for PT with a perfectly clean pair of NWU pants.
Bridesmaid
A cat-loving Baptist who could marry us if we asked… in English or Spanish.
Groomsman
In forty years, this Marine will run his own jiu-jitsu dojo in the Appalachians living on a diet of nothing but beef jerky and La Croix.
Bridesmaid
Huge fan of salt.
Groomsman
The Original.
Bridesmaid
One day this psychology major will be able to charge money for listening to her friends' woes, but for now, she is paid with food.
Groomsman
The groom if he was way funnier, way better at speed-running Hollow Knight, and way better with the ladies.
Bridesmaid
A certified menace who calls once every five years to tell you about her time as Georgia’s unluckiest driver.
Father of the Groom
The groom if he was slightly older and took after Vin Diesel instead of the psycho from Split.
Father of the Bride
If you had a dollar for every man crush Chris has received over the years, you could afford a set of tools that you would immediately gift to Chris.
Mother of the Groom
A woman who can beat all of us at Scrabble but still make you feel good about the 'sand' you played off her 'dodecahedron' and owns a cat who gets really, really, really annoyed about hugs.
Mother of the Bride
The bride if she was taller, cooler, and much better at making quilts.
Wedding Planner