I was a thirty something rock and roller who did electrical contracting. It’s important that you put that in the right order. I was born in 1977- the year Elvis died. I have 2 younger siblings and 2 older half siblings. I didn’t grow up with them too much. I grew up in North Seattle- what is now known as Shoreline. I had a rough childhood. I am an Eagle Scout- even though they are being sued into oblivion- I got all the merit badges and got all the requirements by my 18th birthday. I started playing guitar when I was… I think… 27, 28… but I started playing banjo when I was 23. I played sax in elementary and middle school. I was dating this gal, Rachel, we’d been together 3.5 years. When I was about 20-23, we broke up, but we’d just moved into Ballard. She came out as full lesbian, and we were full broke, and I moved into another bedroom of the house, and I could hear her banging her girlfriend and I picked up the banjo so I could survive hearing all of that. I am a private guy; I am not on social. I care a little… not a lot… will this all be in here? Ok- cool. -Full stop- readjustment, topping off of the drinks.-

Our initial meet was on the Seattle Alternative Weekly website- the Stranger. Their site, at least at the time, was Love Lab. We both had profiles on there. This was maybe… 2006. I remember in 2005 I started my business. I moved out of Rachel’s place in 2006-2007- I had a new apartment. I matched with Shenandoah and I had included photos from my trip from India from 2005-6? I saw she’d just moved from Denver, Colorado. I remember there being a photo of her in a red dress and she was dancing. I thought she was cute. I think I knew she was a musician. I Googled her. She stated it. I don’t think I played rock and roll, I just played old American folk banjo. We messaged once or twice, but I ghosted her because I decided I was a trash fire. She was so sweet- brand new musician in town from Co-lor-a-do. I was a total wreck. A relationship had gone sour. It was better to leave her alone. I said to myself, “If I am meant to be with her, I will play the long game and I’ll meet her in the future when I am not a trash fire and playing in my own band.” It felt like right out the gate it wouldn’t work if I said, “I can listen to music but don’t play anything. I can play a banjo pretty good.” I said to myself, “if I am meant to date her, it will happen at some point in the future. If it’s meant to be.” I assured myself, “you get one shot Luke, DO YOU WANT TO TRY IT RIGHT NOW? This young lady just moved in and she’d probably vulnerable about something. She’s too young to be moving to a place out of desperation. She moved here out of optimism- don’t quench that optimism, Luke.” Oh boy. Oh boy. So I played a lot of rock and roll. I went on several short tours. I played in India. I played in Spain.

So anyway, I got a harpsichord and I had a company called Luke Electric. I had a customer in his 70s and I noticed he had a harpsichord and he said he needed it out of his house- it belonged to his partner, and he died- and he was now dating someone new. The previous owner of the instrument was a music teacher at a school district, worked at an episcopal bookstore and was a gay guy. The thing was so big. My customer was moving on in his old age- vacationing, retiring- and he felt like it was holding his life back a little bit- but [this thing] was an ode to his old gay partner. I negotiated the deal for $400 cash + electrical work. Got myself a harpsichord. I had always wanted to play- since I was 12. Finally came into this opportunity in my twenties, eh… early 30s. I tried to learn to play it myself, but I know I had taken a number of musical lessons. Several one-off lessons: fiddle lessons, dulcimer lessons, piano lessons, lots of lessons. What works for me is getting info from a lot of people, seeing how to think about music, getting basics down, and trying to work on it from there. After 4 lessons, you can have a handle on what you need to work on. You can have a follow-up lesson, or if your budget-conscious you can just do your homework and sit and play. So just pay for a few lessons. Some music teachers don’t want you to do that. Some want you to over commit. I knew Shenandoah could play the accordion and piano and she was out there in Facebook world. We had mutual friends, but I had been avoiding her on Facebook and in real life. I knew by then, she had married somebody else, so I just said to myself “it’s just best if I stay away.” At the same time - I was feeling like a very attractive person at this point in my life. I just had this raw magnetism to her.

She knew my band mate Stacy Peck. She was hanging with her girlfriend, now wife- they knew of each other and had met in real life. I was like “eventually we’ll run into each other- may as well ask her for some lessons on the harpsichord”. I knew she could do classical music. Needed to be someone with a classical background. I knew she was married, but this gave her an excuse to check out my sick pad. I was playing the long game. I said to myself, “I don’t know how things are going- but now is the time in my life for this. I have a cool pad, it has a gas fireplace, I’m in a band called Pony Time and Stallion.” She knocked on the door. I let her in. I remember that moment. She was taller than I thought she would be. She had dirty fingernails. I thought to myself that’s either cute or she’s a tomboy or she’s really busy and doesn’t care. She’s probably SO busy. You notice fingernails. She warned me she wouldn’t be able to give lessons very long because she was going on tour. I took what I could get and for whatever reason, I don’t know why, I knew she was married but I was just gonna show her that I am here. I knew who she was from the Stranger Love Lab and I was like “I am here.” I feel like I realized back in the day that if I gave this up, you can have some fun right now but you can’t have anything long term. So this love may be 10 years… if she’s in the same city. I am ok if I wait a decade. This is meant to be. I’m not in control of the timeline. It’s ok. I was smitten.

Rocking Wrestling Rager landed me in the hospital. That’s when I knew. It was all over. She was in the ambulance. Shenandoah was handing me bottles to pee in. I couldn’t get off the gurney. Shenandoah is down to help me get through some of the craziest shit I’ve done in my life. Some may call it reckless, stupid. I was injured in a professional rock and roll cage match. Shenandoah was willing to be by my side through all the ensuing mayhem. My head was busted. I wanted to savor the victory. Shenandoah let me savor the victory. Lucious Luke. That’s where I was at my wildest. It almost killed me. I had to dial things back a little. I knew she was cool, calm, collected, and she rode with me to the hospital and got me a ride home. She took care of me. She can hang with me at my wildest. She’s still here. A lot of others would have bowed out. She’s calm. She could be in charge… is she in charge?… I don’t know. So calm. Not freaked out. She was extra special. I knew I would get a scar out of it- maybe this will help people stop chasing me. If I get a scar. If I get a scar, they will stop chasing me. Shenandoah though, she was a cool customer. She didn’t scare the rattlesnake. -Laughs, leans back, runs hand through hair.- She only gave me 2 lessons- no more, she said “I can’t give you anymore”. I can’t remember what reason she gave. I knew I would see her again. I haven’t seen the last of Shenandoah Davis. She just knows I’m here.

I don’t know if I have a plan, but to me she’s a fascinating woman who I can constantly look at in awe and wonder about what she’s thinking and feeling. There’s just something to being around someone like that- to be able to talk to them, touch them, feel them, and know that they are an important part of your life. So, I don’t want to say I have an intention other than to- I know I have a feeling and an urge to be around this person named Shenandoah who I feel this attraction to. Wherever that takes us- it takes us.

Thank you for being part of a select group to be a part in this wedding. You all mean something special to me. That’s why I wanted you to be able to witness my marriage and union to Shenandoah Davis. Because for some reason or another, you have been an instrumental part of my life at some point. I don’t want anyone to feel like I’m a greaseball because she was a married lady when she gave me harpsichord lessons. I felt like one… a little. But it took years after that for anything to even happen. It feels like a miracle that it ever did.

Well I guess the first time I talked to Luke (which he reminded me of on our first date)… and I couldn’t decide if it was creepy or vulnerable and forthcoming coming of him… was when I had just moved to Seattle. I was 22, had no money, and my friend had just overdosed on heroin. He was part of my first friend circle I had chosen, and I thought… “I have not chosen the right people”. I moved with 3 week’s notice and with only $300, and I paid for enough gas to get there in my friend’s champagne colored Honda Civic. I had an ex-boyfriend in Denver who was maybe going to move back to Seattle and get back together with me… but I told him not to. I knew no one except this guy I met at a dinner party who casually mentioned I could stay with him- only to reach out 3 weeks later to take him up on his offer. I got a job on the 4th day I was there and stayed for 8 months. When I moved to Seattle, I met Luke. I was 22, I had just moved, I knew one person, I had no goal or vision or purpose. I just knew I couldn’t be in Denver where my friends were doing heroin. I remember that there were 2 people I exchanged messages with on Love Lab- one of them was a really handsome guy who was wearing a… turban and dress… which I later found out was Luke… and I found out he was at a wedding in India in the photo. I was wearing a red romper in my profile picture with a grey shirt underneath. The other guy’s name was Josh, and he was in a band. We went on a date on Earth Day. We rode busses around Seattle because busses in Seattle were free on Earth Day. We drank beer on the bus. I never talked to him again on purpose. Luke was wearing a formal Indian garment in his profile picture. There was no context. It was 2007. Cat fishing didn’t have a name yet. I thought to myself, “maybe this is a Saudi Prince that… is running a human trafficking scheme.”

I never thought about it again. Yeah, I… was working at the most popular coffee shop in Seattle in an amazing neighborhood, made a lot of the right type of friends, cool artists who were trying to figure out how to make money off of it. I worked at that coffee shop for 4 years and some change before I started touring a lot. I have three younger siblings. I was born in Beverly, Massachusetts. My parents had been married 2.5 years and were really young. Then my family moved to upstate New York when I was 6 and my brother was born, and my mom homeschooled all of us. I got a lot of special one on one time with my mom because I was the oldest… she would just read to me all the time and taught me so many things. Because of her, I was reading and speaking when I was really young. Then my family moved to Colorado- my dad got a job teaching at CU Boulder. Then I was going into 9th grade, and I started going to school. I was doing cross country and track and then had a health scare pop up and couldn’t run anymore. I didn’t want to run if I couldn’t win. I wasn’t allowed to run fast. I dropped cross country and joined choir part way through the semester (junior year) and started trying out for musicals and school plays… and wound up in all the plays and musicals. I then decided to go to college for this.

Harpsichord is really similar to the piano. I played all my life. I’m really good at it. One job I had was being the piano accompanying for those majoring in voice. I played some in college and then began performing with singers. I also extensively studied Baroque music. I invited Luke to come over for a dinner party- welcoming my friend Joe. I had been in a crazy 1 day band with Stacy Peck and it was called Rock Party- and you performed a crazy show one night after a pairing with someone random. We were paired with King Crimson and Ajax (who didn’t play any instruments). That was around or slightly before the harpsichord lessons. He was really quiet. I don’t really know why I invited him and he was so quiet and I didn’t know him at all and… everyone else there was a really good friend. He showed up wearing a collared shirt and carrying a bottle of wine. I didn’t really know who he was. I didn’t remember about the dating website (more on that later.) I didn’t know we’d messaged back and forth before. We went into my guest room to smoke a cigarette and there was this little desk fan plugged into the window and you could blow your smoke into the street through the fan. You weren’t supposed to smoke. It felt unsafe to smoke outside, so here we were. We never turned the lights on. We were in this dark little room a couple hours into a dinner party, huddled around a fan, and I just had… this feeling… that I truly have not had in any other relationship - this feeling that something I was doing was wrong. I just kind of panicked internally. He mentioned admiring my accordion and I just… told him to borrow it forever and told him… to leave. I needed to wrap up. To go back to the rest of the apartment and the party… and my husband at the time… who I had not been married to for long at all. Right after that I either told him I was going on tour or… ghosted him (like we do) and… that was that.

There were a couple close calls after my marriage ended before we got together. His birthday is in October and I had tried to reach out via FB by sending him a message he’d sent 4 years earlier. I copy/pasted the message and he just said thank you… and didn’t get the joke. I explained it… and ha… he didn’t get it. Or maybe he did… but he said “oh”. He said he was going to walk across a long bridge to get a hot dog. I offered to go with him… but then I went to sleep… and woke up and saw that at 11p he’d invited me but I was sleeping. Then he and his band were DJing for the night at the Cha Cha in Seattle. I got to talk to him a bit, I went home on a bus, and when I got home and put on my PJs, I got a text from him saying, “would you like to dance with me Shenandoah?” I was so sad. I was like FUCK. I don’t wanna hang out with this ex-student like this. Women were rabidly in love with Luke, throwing themselves at him. I had so many friends in my circles who loved him… he always said no. I left the ChaCha… and then he asked me to dance… and I ruined it. I thought to myself, “I guess I’ll be alone til I die. A lone wolf”. And then a week and a half later he asked me if I wanted to go on a date. And I said yes. We went to this weird bar called Hooverville, a peanut-shells-on-the-floor sports bar across from the baseball stadium. I assumed this was because he didn’t want his fans to know he was on a date… or his wife… or the other women he was dating… We just got beer. I had dated a bartender that worked there so I didn’t love this- but they weren’t there. People recognized us while we were out. Ha. I thought I was good at pinball… but he’s globally ranked. So… I found out I’m not the best around this guy at that. Then he asked if I wanted another drink… while waiting, he said: I have something to tell you, but I am worried you’ll think it’s weird.

He told me about the dating website 7-8 years ago. Guess it would have been longer. Said his life was a dumpster fire. Said he’d just started going to therapy… he didn’t want to ruin my life because he was so fucked up. He had purposefully avoided me for many years as I became a musician and ran in similar circles and knew the same people. This was my first date since my divorce. So, this felt weird. I told him it didn’t feel weird. We walked outside and he asked if I wanted to go somewhere else and I said no- I was going to go home. I was overwhelmed. I called a few friends who know how to date, and I told them everything and asked their thoughts, and they responded with 50/50 feedback. Serial killer vs. respectfully considerate. I performed my deep level stalking of Luke and couldn’t find anything I didn’t like… or anything interesting. Yeah. And then he asked me for another date, and I went on it. And we kept going on dates. I kept traveling, we hung out, and then we wound up in the ER after his show. I'll never forget what Stacy Peck said to me when she learned we were dating. She said, "good fucking luck, at least you’re gone all the time so maybe it will work out." I think I just said thanks… because Stacy (similar to Luke) is the strong silent type and this was the most words she’d said to me in a row. She was the king lesbian in the Seattle music scene and these words were a big deal.

Not til he asked me to marry him. He asked me but it was after many months of prodding and questioning from extended family who we had spent time with. They were curious as to why I hadn’t already been asked. They didn’t want him to “screw it up”. It felt complicated because I had just gotten out of such a long relationship when we started dating- and Luke hadn’t dated anyone for such a long time. There was a lot of space and empty time in between meeting- our relationship started with space and boundaries, I never wanted to get married again, he didn’t want to have kids, etc… I mean, of course I was going to say yes. Why would I have not said yes? Have you seen him? He’s a punk rock smoke show.

To me it has always felt like an important ritual to have a public declaration or announcement of “we’ll be the two people who will have each other’s backs” and that both of us are very independent people but there is room in our independence for a union and freedom to build things separately while also building our relationship. And if you could just write that in a way that doesn’t sound like we’re polyamorous and running a sex cult, that could be great… because that’s NOT my intention.

We waited a really long time to have a wedding because of COVID and because we wanted to make sure everyone we really love and care about could be here to celebrate with us. Also, because of COVID- a lot of people who are really close to one of us haven’t had a chance to get to know one of us. For guests who don’t know Luke, know that we’ve spent the last 6 years quietly building a humble little life together, and a family together, and a small little pack of domesticated animals together. You’re welcome in our home and be part of our life and world anytime. This is the first invitation of many to come.