We are So Excited To See You!

Matt and I met on eHarmony in January of 2019. Before that, I would tell my friends three things: I would never do online dating; I hate long distance relationship; I can never image myself dating someone in military. Well, the saying is true: Never say never! In January, the Lord gave me an increasing desire for marriage through a Mission class at my Seminary, where I witnessed a Christ-like and sweet marriage of my professor and his wife. A few Christian friends of mine also shared their stories of meeting and marrying their spouses whom they met online. But I was still very hesitant to try online dating. However, if you have a mom who loved you and cared about your marriage very much, and was very smart to always bring back every conversation to the same old question, “Have you signed up an online dating website yet?”, you would eventually sign up a dating website in a sleepless night. I prayed to God that I desired to honor the name of Christ even in the process of online dating, and that I wanted to meet someone who also loved him sincerely. Within one week or so, Matt’s profile showed up and quickly caught my attention. As I read through every word on his profile, my heart felt a strange connection immediately, especially words that described his love for walking peacefully with the Lord and his love for people. By the way, he was very handsome too:) I took the courage and started a conversation with him, which became a pleasant on-going conversation that last until February, where he told me that he would like to fly from St. Louis to visit me in NC. How exciting! On March 20th, we finally met in person in Raleigh. I felt very comfortable with him from the beginning. He was very kind, patient, fun, easy-going with this girl who was late for their first date for 15 minutes!! He also met my close friends and we had a great time together. Before departure, he told me that he really liked me and it would be his honor to call me his girlfriend.

I was very excited to hear that but as a reserved girl, I told him that this seemed too fast and I needed to pray more and ask God first about any decision making. During my prayer time that evening and the next morning, the Lord used Psalm 107 and Phil. 3:8 to remind me of his steadfast love and everlasting faithfulness to me. God revealed my heart of fear of rejection and failure. However, after prayer, I received lots of peace knowing that God will always be with me and walk through every season of life with me. With that peace and confidence in God’s love, I took the courage and said yes to Matt. From the very beginning, we decided to date with a serious purpose, not just for pleasure, but to evaluate if we would fit each other as lifelong partner. We always prayed that God’s will be done in us. Right after we started to date, Matt was deployed to Europe for a six-month mission. I thought to myself: “This is the craziest thing in my life ever because I would be dating someone long-distance now; He was a military officer; And we met online…. How crazy this would be, but what if this will be a great blessing from God, if I could just trust Him a little more?” Throughout the time, God aways reminded me to love and bless Matt unconditionally because of how much He loved Matt in Christ, and reminded me to trust God for our relationship. I wrote letters and notes to him. I mailed homemade bakery goodies, which became really bad because of the long flight. We made videos for each other. We had countless phone calls. My dad and I also visited him in Belgium. And I traveled with Matt to Paris together. By the time he finished his deployment and returned to the States, I liked him even more, a man who had a kind and upright heart, who cared about people and his family deeply, who worked hard with a very humble and grateful heart, who walked with God and eager to live a life according to God’s will.

The only difficulty right now was the location of his future job. However, the Lord totally surprised us by providing a job on a base close to his family and me in Virginia! What an answer to prayers! After spending Thanksgiving and Christmas with his family in VA and Buffalo, I got to know him even more and I loved his lovely and fun family. As the Spring time arrived, our friendship also bloomed. We discovered so many things in common: Our values, our faith, our sense of humors, our love for impressionist art, our love for cultures and food. He inspired me to write more poems; I introduced him to the non-added sugar- diet. He enjoyed being my personal coach in the gym; I took great delight in playing ukulele and singing Chinese worship songs to him. One day, he emailed my father, who was in China and did not speak much English, in order to ask for his permission and blessing for marriage. Even though the translation software did not do the best job, my dad somehow understood Matt’s main point and gave his blessing! He also replied a humorous and kind email to Matt. Language barrier was not a problem at all! One day after the Valentine’s day, beside a beautiful pond in a sunny afternoon, Matt proposed to me and read the most heartwarming letter and dedication to me. I said YES !

I once asked God: “I always hear others say that they are so happy to marry their best friend. But how could I marry my best friend if in reality I do not even have a close guy friend?” Well, there he was. God let us meet online, a way I would never expect for myself. He led me to know a great leader I have always wanted, a man who was both gentle and strong, a great friend I enjoyed doing everything with. Matt is the best listener I have ever met, but he is never afraid to speak truth to me when I am wrong or not being loving. He is patient but firm, wise and humble. In Matt, I see Christ’s love and likeness; I see humility and strength; I see future hope and adventures. Despite the long distance throughout our relationship, despite many difficult times and attacks of uncertainty and doubts, God has faithfully carried us through all the storms. God cleared our doubts, struck our fears, and eased our worries all by His promises and unfailing love in Christ our Savior. I am deeply thankful for this awesome man I would call my husband and leader forever. And I long to continue to honor and treasure and serve Jesus Christ with my husband. I am thrilled to see God’s goodness and faithfulness in our coming marriage.

During the winter of 2018 I had begun to seriously and consistently pray for a godly, sweet, and respectful woman. I prayed that the Lord would provide me the woman who I would be the best husband for, and one who would be the best wife for me. I had never prayed that exact way before and God saw the sincerity of my heart. I felt oddly led to try Eharmony (I was not previously a fan of dating sites), when I saw the only profile that genuinely talked about love for Christ. She looked really cute and fun too ;) When we started chatting, her warmth, kindness, concern, and intelligence hooked me. She was much deeper than other girls I had met....there was more substance to her.

For the first time ever, I decided to fly from St Louis to Raleigh to meet this extremely sweet girl! I was excited and I knew she was too. She showed up outside of the French restaurant I chose, and she was so joyful and full of God's life. From the first date, I felt like we had known each other longer. The second date I taught her to shoot a 9mm handgun, and we shared the gospel with an older gentleman at a Persian restaurant. I realized right then that God was already using us as a team! She was so bold, haha, I really loved that about her. She was also so encouraging and respectful to me, which I found very rare and refreshing in much of Western culture today. By the end of the second date, I felt already so comfortable with her, and when I was getting ready to depart Raleigh and return to St Louis, she ran up to me and hugged me in a way that melted my heart. I thought as I went up the escalator to security, "I'm going to marry this girl."

I was given a six month mission in Belgium and started to wonder how she would take it. God grew our relationship so greatly through countless phone conversations, video recordings for eachother, and even a visit from Nancy! Her father works part of the year in Germany, and I was in Belgium, so it was a win-win for her to visit in the summer of 2019! She looked so beautiful when I saw her warm and smiling face at the Belgian hotel. We shared a meal with her kind and talented father, before departing the next day for .....Paris!! We ran through winding streets to catch our sienna river cruise, and enjoyed crepes and a good nap at Disneyland Paris, all the while we grew to care for each other more and know each other better. By the end of my six month mission in Belgium, I knew this girl was special. She warmed my heart and filled me with confidence in her. The trust grew, and would grow even more soon. What really developed next was a camaraderie and friendship.....

Upon return to the USA, we both started to spend more time together and as a result our friendship grew. We laughed and joked together more and more. We developed inside jokes and alot of nicknames for each other....like "Nitro Girl." I started to miss my companion when she wasn't around, and she missed me too. She met my family for Thanksgiving and more family for Christmas. Both occasions were so fun and my family loved her right away. I showed her where I grew up and we made similar plans for me to visit China someday to see her life and meet more of her family. We went ring shopping in Buffalo NY, and it all seemed surreal. When I asked Mr. Zhong for his daughters hand in marriage, I was full of confidence and peace. I remember thinking about how much God was with me in all of this and how blessed I was to have this lovely angel that he placed in my path :) There were challenges to come and spiritual battles to fight, but God grew us even more through these moments. He showed me that I can truly trust her, and showed her that she can truly lean on me in times of weakness. On Feb 15th, we walked through a sunny park, around a lake, when I got on one knee to propose. God is so good, and she said yes :)

I knew I loved her for quite awhile, but the way I love her now is different. I know her alot better and I love her stronger. I want to comfort her and cherish her the best I can. God's Spirit is at work in us both to love each other in a way that pleases him. A week away from the wedding and I am excited and praising God for his goodness to us both. I look forward to a life of adventures, and service to God and others. I look forward to knowing her family better and building a fun and righteous family of our own. May we demonstrate the mirror image of how Christ and the Church relate to each other. May God be with us and guide us in paths of peace always. Nancy, you are my girl....I love you as big as the moon. You are God's biggest blessing to me :)