Kathleen & Alisdair
Wedding Party
Kathleen
Bride
Kathleen's origins are shrouded in mystery. She would sooner have you believe Alisdair created her in a lab experiment to create the perfect woman than admit she is not actually from Dundee, nor Stirling. Alisdair is willing to perpetuate this rumour; he was clearly successful. Kathleen emerged from St Andrews with a Doctorate in Ritual and friends worldwide. She claims competence in six languages (three ancient), but is being modest. She's familiar with a few others. When not travelling, blogging about it, writing something important, reading something interesting, championing disabled rights, or smashing the patriarchy, she’s encouraging others to achieve their goals or Netflixing with Alisdair and Scout. She’s the greatest person to have in your life, but you probably already knew that.
Alisdair
Groom
Alisdair is Aberdonian, born and bred. His kindness and sense of humour draw others to him. His soft heart is only disguised by his difficulty delivering his genuine compliments without sounding sarcastic. Alisdair is a philosopher by training with the soul of an artist. He has a great commitment to accuracy and will fact-check anything he reads on the internet, a quality that Kathleen treasures. Alisdair is scrupulously honest, even at great personal risk. He has a talent for "mind sports" - bridge and chess - and has represented Scotland internationally. He aims to publish his debut novel before the wedding. He has a dimple. He has contributed at least four new nicknames for Scout to the family repertoire. Scout is pretty sure that Mummy is marrying Alisdair so Scout gets to keep him.
Whitney
Best Woman
Whitney and Kathleen met online, which made her very cautious about Alisdair. The very first time they met, they joined forces to evict a spider of unusual size from their shared kitchen. They lived together in St Andrews while Whitney studied Theology and became very jumpy after the sixteenth huge spider tried to sneak up on her. Whitney taught Kathleen to be emotionally available and Kathleen taught Whitney how sarcastic Scottish people are. Kathleen makes Whitney laugh and Whitney offers top-quality artistry and drama. They have spent hours driving each other around their respective countries, usually with Whitney singing. They once ate an entire tray of tiramisu for dinner while on holiday together in a romantic Venetian attic room. Neither is particularly fond of tiramisu.
David
Best Man
Alisdair has known David for almost twenty years, which is almost as many jobs as David has had. Every time they speak, he has a new one. The job he's kept is Lead singer for Scotland's best wedding band, so he's used to telling everyone how to do the Ceilidh dances. He has received assurances that he's coming to enjoy himself this time; not to work. David is credited with christening Alisdair’s signature pool shot, “Round the Back Ali”. It is fortunate that David will be staying on-site at the wedding since years of unrestrained jibes aimed at the city of Dundee have made it unsafe for him to sleep there. His overall sense of humour made him an integral part of the posse that haunted the streets of Aberdeen back in the day, bringing laughter to many a bar. Yes; the laughter was their own.
Christoph
Male of Honour
Christoph and Kathleen met as postgraduate students who shared a love of music, the West Wing, and taking 2 a.m. trips to the big Dundee Asda to fondle fuzzy cushions. They became best friends over a desire for justice, and Kathleen's fridge. Sometimes he even remembered to say hello to her on the way to the fridge. Christoph credits Kathleen with the completion of his thesis, though she did this in penance for distracting him with Doctor Who when he was supposed to be working. According to Christoph, their friendship works because of his ability to ignore Kathleen's unquashable desire to be worshipped while remaining affectionate and appreciating her without conveying enough of that to let it go to her head. According to Kathleen, their friendship works because she feeds him.
Jennifer
Mistress-at-Arms
Jennifer’s “Bridge parties” were the stuff of legend. About two boards of actual Bridge got played, before the party games became wilder and more dangerous. Alisdair suggested more than once that she make attendees sign a waiver. Things you might see at such a party included chasing rabbits in the dark, costumes, foosball, pillow fights, pizza, poker, and a ban on scarecrows. Some of Alisdair’s favourite spots in Royal Deeside were introduced to him by Jennifer – I mean, who wouldn’t want the option of climbing a waterfall on a forest walk? It makes for decent training towards Jennifer’s ambition of climbing to Macchu Picchu. As Jennifer is a talented fencer and Kathleen has an extensive knowledge of wedding traditions, there was only one appropriate title for her role.
Meg
Bridesmaid
We'll always have Paris... Meg and Kathleen explored Paris together as foreign students a decade before either of them met their significant others. They then proceeded to wander other parts of Europe and the US, leaving no corner of Scotland unexplored. As officemates, Kathleen relied on Meg for sage advice (kill your PhD thesis before it kills you) and intellectual chat. They would do anything for each other, and have lived through life's seasons together, including finding husbands with odd synchronicity. Kathleen's Mother once told Meg she was one of Kathleen's sanest friends, though whether that's a compliment is anyone's guess. Kathleen helped to organise Meg's nuptials, who in return has promised to wear whatever the bride wants. She will look so cute in that dinosaur costume.
Moe
Groomsman
Alisdair met Moe on a Bridge trip to Dundee. They chatted more animatedly than kids on a sugar high, which was really annoying for the driver. Moe can bring points of interest and a wealth of knowledge to virtually any topic of conversation, a quality which you already know Alisdair admires, since he’s marrying Kathleen. He sometimes likes to put Kathleen and Moe in the same room and just take minutes. Alisdair credits Moe with introducing him to a vast variety of excellent board games, although chess remains the only one that Alisdair is better at. Bring any version of Kemet along to the wedding and you’ll derail the schedule for the entire day. (Do this and the bride may ACTUALLY unleash an army upon you…)
Jenn
Bridesmaid
Jenn and Kathleen studied together, where Kathleen tried in vain to persuade this Georgian that Scotland was just having a freak cold snap... for four years. She moved on to serenading Jenn and Brandon with her best rendition of “Georgia on my Mind” on Friday nights at the Byre Theatre. These gatherings later motivated them to fight the patriarchy via strange Christmas costuming, talent competitions that Jenn was ill-prepared for, and writing long documents (probably never read by the evil-doers). Their friendship is marked by visits to statues of musicians and lots and lots of barbeque. Their proudest moment was in Opelika, AL in December 2018, when they forged a deep connection by staring into each other's eyes for four minutes in a psychology experiment. Neither has been the same since.
Sebastian
Ring Bear
Sebastian doesn't claim to be smarter than the average bear, but he certainly has more air miles. When Alisdair got engaged, there was one name in his mind for this important role: Kathleen's faithful companion of many years, protecting her arthritic hands from harm and keeping dragons away during the night. Seen any dragons in Dundee lately? You're welcome. A scruffbucket with a heart of gold, Sebastian's reputation has survived his arrest by the NYPD, accusations of piracy in the Caribbean, and his fraught battle with Scout over bed-protection duties. Alisdair and Sebastian cemented their bond when one had to jump into the Seine to rescue the other. Both remain tight-lipped about their misadventure.
Brandon
Flower Dude
Brandon is everyone's favourite forester and Jenn's trophy husband. He has been trying to teach Kathleen the differences between types of pine trees since 2012. Brandon is responsible for the Lost Winter of 2009 when he introduced Kathleen to the flying squirrel live cam. He is a renowned cultural ambassador, teaching Scottish people about American customs and introducing Scottish words into his own Southern dialect. Kathleen and Brandon often promised to make it an early night at the pub before being the last two out. Brandon's signature feature is his beard, which was especially prominent when he grew it out for a year. Brandon once aided Kathleen in her stealth buying of six dining chairs for her parents at the auction and attempting to move them before they noticed. They noticed.
Scout
Flower Pup
Scout is part schnauzer, part poodle, and all fluff. By day she has schnoodling to do, making sure that the local cats stay out of her garden, the local children get their daily greeting on the way to school, and that the local dogs are greeted as they pass (especially the ones whose humans carry biscuits). By night she protects her humans from marauders, lulling them into a false sense of security with her schnoring. Scout is modest about the fact that she is a major contributor to veterinary medicine due to her unusual medical condition, especially as Kathleen is self-conscious about the fact that Scout has a better citation score. She was PADS' 2018 Scruffiest Dog in Perthshire and is proud of her ribbon. She loves Alisdair, her Grandoodles, chicken, cheese, ear scritches and balls.