Haley & Nick
Words from the Wedding
Invocation: Merritt Heminway
Officiant, Maine Mariner, Small Point Sailing Luminary
On behalf of Nick and Haley, I wish to pass on their heartfelt gratitude that all of you are here for this exceptionally happy occasion in this spectacular place. We have gathered here together, we have traveled over land and water to join hands on the beach, to bear witness to extraordinary power and endless grace. Before the mighty North Atlantic Ocean, we stand on a fragile strip of sand, but we are not scared; for we have love, and we have faith in love, and we show up for love. Like this ocean, our love is in constant motion, it is infinitely flexible with many faces and expressions. Like this ocean, our love is always present, even when we cannot see it. And like this ocean, our love is powerful, so, so powerful. Let us take a moment of silence. A moment to listen to the ocean, and to breathe, and to be with each other.
Exchange of Vows
Groom & Bride
In the same spirit and before this gathering of people, Nick and Haley will speak their vows. Nick: I Nick, commit to be your husband, partner, and companion in this life, now and always. I promise to you a relationship of trust and respect of unity and dedication of curiosity and growth of adaptability and resilience of support and ambition of compassion and intimacy And above all, of love and admiration I pledge myself to our cause now and always. I will be your refuge in the storm and the wind at your back. Haley: I Haley, commit to be your wife, partner, and companion in this life, now and always. I promise to you a relationship of trust and respect of unity and dedication of curiosity and growth of adaptability and resilience of support and ambition of compassion and intimacy And above all, of love and admiration I pledge myself to our cause now and always. I will be your refuge in the storm and the wind at your back. Community: Simply by your presence here, you are showing your support of Nick and Haley. Will all of you witnessing these promises do all in your power to uphold Nick and Haley in their marriage? Answer heartily with “we will!” All: We Will!!
Benediction: Merritt Heminway
Officiant, Maine Mariner, Small Point Sailing Luminary
Let us close with a blessing. As you go forth into this life, may you remember to stop and be present for each other, just as you have asked us to be with you now -- take a silent look each day so that you can be awed by the beauty you see in each other. May you always choose to show-up for each other and may that simple act of faith cascade down upon all who may come to witness your love. May you be a comfort to each other in sorrow, and companions in joy; each to the other a dear friend and a true love. Amen.
Bridal Toast: Haley Part #1
Bride
When we began planning this day, I strategically tasked Nick with a few small things that he couldn’t mess up, being the control freak I am. One of these things was to write a brief “our story” for our wedding website. I imagined a three liner about us - how we met, how long we’ve been together, and how excited we were to get married. But Nick instead delivered a three part novella. If you haven’t read it yet, you really should, it’s a masterpiece. That’s Nick, he goes above and beyond in the most unique, unexpected ways. He isn’t one for stereotypical displays of affection, he’s never once let me win a game, this is evidenced by our 6-year running backgammon score tally, he hates rules and he loves breaking them, it’s nearly impossible to change his mind, he’s direct, matter-of-fact, and never let’s me take the easy way out, one time when I was asking too many questions during lord of the rings he told me, in all seriousness, that I needed to sit down with a map of middle earth. All of these exemplify how Nick constantly pushes me to think harder and be better. He puts so much thought into everything he does, so much energy into me and our partnership. Nick and I have been together for 12 years now. At our age, that’s a lifetime. Reading that story he wrote about us reminded me that we have slowly and steadily built this life together. At this point, there’s almost nothing we don’t know about each other, rarely a story we haven’t heard.
Bridal Toast: Haley Part #2
Bride
We began as two 19 year olds and have grown together, shaping our relationship and one another into what we are today. I know marriage won’t change things for us, but I’m excited to start our next chapter together. Something unique about Nick is the way he becomes absolutely obsessed with things, all in. Many of these things come in phases, fads. Some of you may remember his mochi phase, or his microwave s’more phase, or the dried mango phase. Just a few months ago he was really into the moon and would watch the moon rise every night at dusk. I actually heard him on the phone with his parents one day say, “I’m really into the moon right now,” when they asked how things were. Many of these fads came and went, and while I’ve seen a lot of them over the past 12 years, I’ve also seen the other side of the coin, his consistency and commitment. Nick eats a peanut butter and jelly sandwich everyday for lunch, without fail. I really hope the club had a PBJ for him today at lunch, because we wouldn’t want to break tradition on the wedding day. Nick, thank you for putting me in the PBJ category.
Bridal Toast: Haley Part #3
Bride
I love you because you’re insanely smart, because you’re thoughtful and thorough, because you’re so often my biggest cheerleader, because you make me laugh until I cry, because if you put half the amount of energy into raising our children as you did raising our dog I know you’ll be the most amazing dad, because you’re passionate, because you’re weird, because you know exactly who you are. I want to learn from you and grow together forever. I’m looking forward to all the ways you’ll surprise me and I’m excited to find out what the next hot topic dessert or Astronomical Phenomenon will be. I’ll be here, for all of it, with you. You’ve been the most committed partner all these years. Your dedication, thoughtfulness, and love has buoyed our relationship through many hurdles, many moves, and many fads.
Groom Toast: Nick W - Part #1
Groom
12 years ago, unknown to us, Haley and I embarked on this journey. Back then, I was an explorer following a faded map. And the more I discovered about you, the more I liked. Haley has this nonchalant, radiating warmth paired with swashbuckling inner fortitude. She’s intensely curious about the world - with an analytical mind equipped to prosecute that ambition. Fiercely supportive of her allies, and a fierce obstacle to their opponents. Brave and humble, sociable and eccentric, passionate and kind. She’s a leading expert in the placebo effect --- the perfect subject for my bag of pranks. And she likes cool stuff, the ocean, good skiing, octopuses, Star Wars and LOTRs --- I was enamored. Things with you always seemed to fit. And when they didn't, it seemed like they should, could, and would fit. And in my youthful ignorance, all I knew is that I liked you, a lot. Several years later, a series of unplanned accidents emerged in my life’s mosaic. My story had coalesced with Haley’s. And like was no longer an apt descriptor. At some point along the way, I fell in love with you. Falling in love was like being carried in a current towards the unknown. The nervous giddiness, the irrational thoughts and actions --- the deep warmth in my chest your presence brings. And an unwelcome development - a destabilizing fear that terrified me. The list of things I wouldn’t do, to protect that which I feared to lose, dwindled.
Groom Toast: Nick W - Part #2
Groom
Is this how it’s supposed to work? Does everyone just pretend this fear doesn’t exist? Haley, my unwitting sherpa, showed me the way. I’ll share one particularly striking moment. Biking to the beach on the Virginia coast, it was one of those summer days where the heat clings like a younger sibling at a teenage beach party. Humming along, Haley asking me to slow down, I asking her to speed up. As we circumnavigated a roundabout, one of those big-butt trucks slammed into my bike like a torpedo. I tried to process what was happening as I tumbled across the pavement – in a state of shock that I seemed unscathed. The youthful driver - guilty only of a narrow aperture - skidded to a stop…. And Hales launched herself - like a bat out of hell – firing a spree of admonishments laced with profanities. Transfixed, I watched the furious barrage rain down…. And I saw something. Something that only I could have seen. I saw what spurred Haley into the fray. She cares for me like I care for her. She’s my protector as I am Her’s. Reciprocity was the tonic for my affliction. Confusion became pride, reproach became belonging. Although we took our sweet time to get here, I've known for a long time this had to be a destination. Well, for a period, living with a self-proclaimed and proud hypochondriac as COVID hit the mainstream – I wasn't sure which would happen first, the stress killing her or her killing me.
Groom Toast: Nick W - Part #3
Groom
We’ve had good times and bad, as individuals and as partners. And we’ve emerged from both, stronger, together. When I needed help to get my train back on the tracks - Haley answered the call, again and again. And when I fall in the future -- I’m sure you'll catch me, because I know I’ll catch you. Each step we took appeared to be an accident at the time. But looking back holistically - there were none. We had grown together, grown for each other, and grown with each other. My roots were so intertwined with Haley's, departure was inconceivable. That's what I think romantic love is. It’s what you’re able to cultivate when the fleeting flame of falling in love does its work and fuses a bond not easily broken. I've been a party to your growth since we met as practice adults 12 years ago. And I revere the spectacular and extraordinary woman you’ve become. I've sought to be someone you'll respect – admire – enjoy -- rely on -- and love. I don't always get it right; I haven't always been the partner you deserve. I fear, more than anything else, that will remain true in our future. Since I was a boy, I've always wanted to be the best in the world at things. The fastest runner, quickest learner, smartest at this, best at that. I don’t know if those ambitions will manifest, perhaps I’ll grow old trying.
Groom Toast: Nick W - Part #4
Groom
But I did find one thing. One thing I’m confident I will be the best in the world at - being your husband and partner. You choosing me to be yours is my life’s greatest honor. I will do everything in my power to be the partner you deserve. And I will be a better partner tomorrow than I am today. Now, over the past months, I’ve had the chance to think at length about the ritual of marriage. I learned what we’re here doing tonight has little to do with getting married. Turns out, all we need for that is a few hours, a few folks, and a few forms. So why do we have weddings? Why am I having a wedding? Seeing all of you, the answer is inescapable. The connection of all of us being here, now, together. It’s a prime exemplar of the social fabric that defines the human experience. I’m deeply grateful to all of you for being here with me today – and it’s a privilege to be here with you. This same group of people probably won’t ever be together again, definitely not in this same setting. Celebrate that, enjoy each other, and through our joy - we’ll ratify the scarce moment in time that is this weekend. Now, let’s saddle up and partake in the ancient tradition of dinner.
Sibling - Bride Part #1
Nina
Hi everyone, I’m Nina, the bride’s sister. You know, today is so, so special, but it’s actually not the first time that Haley and I played the roles of bride and maid of honor. On Halloween in 2002, we walked the streets in matching white dresses and gloves, her in a veil and mini wedding dress, me trailing behind as the maid of honor picking up her train and collecting candy. We got a lot of attention that year. Haley is my best friend, my sidekick. I know some of you might remember the year when we lived on a boat as a family, sailing the Caribbean. At the time of the boat trip, I was eight, and Haley was a cool, older 11, and we were so excited about having our own rooms. I got straight to decorating my bunk and set it up with all my plush stuffed animal friends. Haley let me take the front bedroom, away from the loud engine, which at the time, I thought was the superior pick. However, I later figured out that she had chosen the slightly larger bunk for herself. We would always play with our stuffed animals and beanie babies in her room because she had a spacious “entryway”, aka a four-by-four bit of space. I thought I would like to sleep in my room all by myself, but it turned out I got a little lonely. I thought the arrangement was better if I kept all my stuffed animals in my bunk and slept in Haley's with her, just to be safe. Eventually, I began to slowly move my animals over one at a time, crawling into the bed at night and hoping Haley wouldn’t notice.
Sibling - Bride Part #2
Nina
And there we remained each night going forward, sharing the first-pick bunk. Around that age, I became obsessed with the idea of a “cool girl”. A cool girl had it all in my eyes – cool clothes, cool hairstyles, cool friends. Whenever my family would encounter one in the wild, my mom and sister would point her out, and exclaim: “Nina, look at her!” So I started to wonder where this idea came from. In middle school, I remember hearing Haley listen to Vampire Weekend in her room – I couldn’t wait to be a teenager myself. But as the older sister, you get to do everything first. Haley went to prom first, rode a bike first, got braces first, was first to find a nice midwestern boy, and was the first child to get a Ph.D. But don’t get me wrong, I had some firsts of my own — I was the first child to transfer from both high school and college, and the first child to drink too much at a country concert and need to be picked up by mom and dad. Thanks, mom and dad. But the best part about Haley being the first to do so many things, is that she always finds a way to share a piece of that first with me. When Haley went to college, I thought she was the oldest, coolest person I knew. When I went to visit her, she even let me sleep in her Hillside twin bed, a real treat, but this time, I left my stuffed animals at home.
Sibling - Bride Part #3
Nina
She would call me from college and tell me all the cool, older sister things she would do and how she met a boy named Nick, but don’t make a big deal about it; it’s nothing serious. I’ve always looked up to you, Haley, the ultimate cool girl. I’ve come to know that besides cool accessories, cool girls are smart and thoughtful and vulnerable, and inquisitive — all traits that Haley masters. Now, let me take a minute to zero in on the groom, Nickaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! As many of you are aware, I’m extremely easygoing and not at all particular. Nick has two lovely sisters, so he really met his worst nightmare when he met me. On occasion, on family trips, I can complain. Thank god he’s there to keep me humble. Always there to lovingly mock me, there could be a disaster, like a canceled reservation or a missed ferry, and Nick wouldn’t flinch, only be there to echo me when I call out: mommmmmmmahhhhhh! Since Haley and I live in different countries, far across the US from each other, we talk on the phone between 1 and 75 times a day. We’ll usually catch up on our lives, discussing and complaining about those who have wronged us. Sometimes, during these chats, there’s a small voice in the background, bringing us both back down to earth when we inevitably get fired up on some topic.
Sibling - Bride Part #4
Nina
Nick, thanks for being that voice and keeping us both grounded. And for your unwavering love and support for my sister. And I know I don’t have to remind you how much of a cool girl Haley is. Here’s to a lifetime of us all following the cool girl. Cheers!
Siblings - Groom Part #1
Stella, Ted, Maggie
Hello everybody! Every toast giver was informed they had about five minutes each, Stella, Ted, and I were informed that we had to give a joint 5 minute speech, so bear with us, and we're only a little bit jealous of Nina getting 5 minutes all to herself! We wanted to start by talking about Nick when we were growing up. We all thought he was so, for lack of a better word, cool. Cool in the way only an older sibling can be. He was good at any sport he played, any board game, any xbox game. He made friends easily, he could converse with adults and children alike, he was able to verbally best us in a sarcasm duel. He was always trying to get us to play risk or chess with him, although perhaps that was because he just wanted someone to completely annihilate, but we like to think it was because he was our big brother and he loved us, but to this day we don't know one way or another. We hope this is painting a picture of Nick B.H., Before Haley. Because now we're going to discuss Nick A.H., After Haley. Because anyone who has known Nick almost his whole life will know that you can draw a fairly clear shift in Nick's behavior A.H. Nick has always been driven, quick, logical, unapologetic, opinionated, but A.H. these traits have manifested in a gentler and kinder way that we find admirable. There's a sort of correlation is not causation thing happening. We cannot prove that Haley coming into Nick's life changed him as a person, but he did start to be more
Siblings - Groom Part #2
Stella, Ted, Maggie
loving and more compassionate around the time they started getting serious. Nick and Haley met when Nick was on the verge of becoming an adult, so perhaps without her, he would've come to this change on his own, but we like to think she greatly helped. There was a joke in our family for years, that I'm not sure Nick knows about, that he "better hurry up and marry Haley before she realizes she's too good for him!" Again, when discussing this toast, it became clear to the three of us, separately and in our own ways, there was a shift with Nick in his After Haley behavior. For Ted, Nick went from the brother who always beat him to the Xbox, to the brother who invited him to play Magic the Gathering with his friends. For Stella, it was when she visited Nick and Haley in Seattle, hanging out with them for the first time not in a family setting. Nick was a gracious host, treating her to ramen and silly dancing under the cherry blossoms. She felt like he wasn't just an older brother but a friend who wanted her to feel comfortable and included. For Maggie, it was a moment when Nick gave her the best relationship advice she'd ever received. He told her about 5 years ago, "you get to a point when you're older, that if you can't see a future with the person you're dating, then there's no need to suffer through heartbreak to make it work." Such poignant thoughts about relationships from our older brother?! The culprit could only be Haley.
Siblings - Groom Part #3
Stella, Ted, Maggie
And how could someone date Haley and not have it change you as a person? We met this girl, with a strange accent, beautiful big eyes, and a warm heart 10 years ago, and it feels like she's been part of our family for almost as long as that. She loves with all of herself, she's ready to talk about whatever is on your mind, and often encourages us to do so. She can make a strong cocktail and appreciate a craft beer. She has conquered several Warner Christmas extravaganzas with gusto, she's braved the freezing water at Big Beach, and she has sat on the back porch with all of us laughing and eating dinner. What else is there really that makes you part of the Turner/Warner family? We are so happy to be gaining another sister. To wrap this up, we also wanted to reflect on a moment where we knew that Nick and Haley were perfect for each other. It was when the Oleyniks came to visit Montana. We knew that Haley got along swimmingly with our family, but to see Nick as equally loved and a part of Haley's family was beautiful. They laughed at his weird silly dances, they had inside jokes during the fish bowl game, and they appreciated his thoughtful insights into whatever topic had been brought up. All this time Haley had been slowly integrating and becoming part of our lives, Nick had been doing the same with her family, and he seemed to fit as completely in that group as Haley fit into ours.
Siblings - Groom Part #4
Stella, Ted, Maggie
Family is so important to us, and we're grateful that Nick has found a family who cherishes, accepts, and loves him as we do. With that, we would like to raise a glass to the Warner/Oleynik union!
Parents - Bride Part #1
Ron
Good afternoon everyone! As some of you may know, I’m the father of the bride. As such, the married couple have allowed me to say a few words. Having not had a father-of-the-bride gig before, I turned to that trusted, expert source for advice –the Interwebs. Let me tell you, it is filled with all sorts of advice, jokes, samples, checklists, and UTube tutorials. The one piece of advice many of these cites had in common was to make the speech about the couple, and not about you. Well, duh! Of course that’s right. . . . Anyway, let me start off by telling you all a little about me. . . . No, no. I won’t do that. What I will tell you about is two amazing people who managed to find each other, find themselves, and find happiness. First, there’s Haley. Beautiful, smart as a whip, pushing forward on her agenda. From the time she was a toddler, she had her own way of doing things. Apparently, crawling was beneath her. Instead, she sat bolt upright and scooted around on the floor giggling. I guess that gave her a better view of the world. Curious and positive. Always up for a challenge. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that she ended up with a passion for marine science --sixth grade floating around the Caribbean will do that to you. But, I was surprised when Haley called me after her first fish observer voyage in Alaska to tell me she loved it (not a surprise), and she was going back for another trip –in January in the Bering Sea! Well, that’s drive and dedication.
Parents - Bride Part #2
Ron
I could not be prouder of who she is, the adult she has become, and what she has accomplished. Then, there’s Nick. A take charge, life on his own terms, kind of guy. First and foremost, I want to say that I do not view this marriage as losing a daughter. I view it as gaining a board-game master and fly fishing guide. –As well as a very kind, very sincere, and very insightful observer of the world around him. And, who knew –he has some literary talent. Nick’s writing on their website is destined to become a cult classic. If he tires of his master-of-the-business-world ambitions, he should really consider a career in writing. However, I do have one quibble with his recounting of the ‘facts’. Nick says that because he and Haley were raised with lawyers in the family, they had, “36 years of childhood, 1,746 tangential legal lectures, [and] 3,102 hours of learning through osmosis [and therefore they consider themselves] learned in legal matters”. As Brad will likely attest, this needs a bit of partner-level editing. First, 1,746 tangential legal lectures. I’m certain that none of mine, and none of Brad’s, were ‘tangential’. Second, only 1,746. That’s about 100 a year. Apparently, the rest of the time I was just talking to myself. And then there’s the “36 years of childhood”. Since neither of you are there yet, are you promising us that’s when the two of you will grow up? --I for one hope not!
Parents - Bride Part #3
Ron
If the two of you have made it this far in your charmed life together, I don’t see a need for change. Given all of that, my toast is that I hope the two of you try your hardest not to lose that adventurous spirit, that curiosity for the world; and that together you don’t get caught up in the weeds of the day-to-day, but instead continue to soar with your dreams.
Parents - Groom Part #1
Brad
Lisa and I are honored to be asked to give a toast. In coming up with something to say I considered toasts often do any of 3 things: tell an enlightening story, give advice, and/or wish well for the future. I thought of a story where one of my brothers asked 6-year old Nick who knew how to play chess, "What was harder Chutes + Ladders or chess." Nick replied, "Chutes and Ladders, you have no control in that game." But Haley I'm sure has heard that story, and after going out with Nick for 12 years, probably has better stories of her own. And She is more aware of the adult Nick than me. So I shifted to advice. I thought there might be wisdom in old County songs that came out of the hills and have survived the test of time. I put on Tammy Wynettes "Stand by Your Man" and this is her advice to Women: You'll have bad times, and He'll have good times, Doin things you don't understand. But if you love him, you'll forgive him, Even though he's hard to understand. And if you love him, oh be proud of him, cause after all he's just a man. Bad idea. You know maybe I won't look to Country and Westem Songs for advice in the 21st Century. Though Nick can be hard to understand. But the thing is, Nick always forged his own path until now when he is sharing the road with Haley. And I thought, they've been together for 12 years. They've moved across the continent 3 times with one relationship accommodating the other.
Parents - Groom Part #2
Brad
They survived a traumatic brain injury, a long distance relationship when they lived on opposite coasts for a while. They made it through COVID which tried many relationships. They balanced their relationship with the demands of seeking a PHD and working in start-up Tech company. Maybe they know what they are doing and don't need any advice from me. So I'd like to toast to their relationship that has been and made it this far. And to their relationship that will be, which I trust will navigate whatever comes their way in the future. in the future To Nick + Haley's past and to the future of their relationship!