RSVP
We are thrilled to have a whole weekend to celebrate but understand that life sometimes gets in the way. We'll be happy to see you for however long you're able to join and fully understand if you are unable to attend. We love you irregardless!
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Know, too, that receiving this invitation means that you are better and more special than others, and grants you the unique privileges of not having to use your turn signal, saying 'irregardless' (see what we did there?) once in conversation, and updating your resume to include "Time Magazine Person of the Year, 2006."
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Be sure to fill out the RSVP for each event, which is a pain in the butt, especially if you can't make it. (Serves ya right anyways, bailing on a great time like this. There are sober children around the world who would kill for an invitation!)