The Kathawas

May 11, 2022, is when I asked Reshmi the story title's question, to which she responded, “I had one WHOLE bottle of water! And a lot of coconut water if that counts.” Her charm was irresistible; I was hooked. From there, we were off to the races, discussing “Dexter” (Reshmi’s favorite TV show), our respective undergraduate universities, and a small connection: Reshmi and my youngest brother, Kevin, were both at University of Detroit Mercy for undergrad. (Kevin has since continued his studies at UDM’s dental school, thereby making himself the most highly educated Kathawa brother.) Most importantly, for our purposes, before Reshmi and I went to bed, I secured an agreement to have our first date at Shift Kitchen and Cocktails in downtown Birmingham that weekend. For better or worse, in hindsight, what sticks out most vividly to me about that day is that I, for reasons known only to God, chose to wear a lot of black on a very hot Michigan spring day; and I recall being struck by just how “bougie” Birmingham was—and how out of place I felt. But because I was determined to have a great first date with this terribly dehydrated, but sweet, woman, I pushed through both my sticky sweat and my stinging self-consciousness. I’m so glad I did. * * * Reshmi would be the first to admit that our first date was pretty awkward. Conversation was tough, and I think we were both a little more interested in the truffle fries than was ideal. But after a while, we started to open up. We discussed what we wanted out of a relationship, our shared desire for a strong marriage and to have as many children as God saw fit to bless us with, and the importance of our Catholic faith. By the end, I was confident that there was a depth to Reshmi that I wanted to explore further. And my intuition about her has been proven true in ways too numerous to list fully. (But one important one has been how much she loves my youngest sibling, Isabella, who is close to my own heart.) After that, we got to know each other more in various settings: dinners, drive-in movies, at the gun range, while rollerblading, in bowling alleys, during Adoration and Mass, and over video calls. Little did we know how important that last medium would turn out to be. * * * By the end of July, 2022, Reshmi moved away for work, to Belton, Texas. I did the same, but to Green Bay, Wisconsin, at the start of October. We would spend the next year more than 1,200 miles apart, but we had committed to talking every day and to seeing one another at least every month. And by the grace of God, I somehow grew to love Reshmi in that long-distance year more than I expected to—or even thought was possible. Which gave me another great joy: realizing that a stock platitude—“absence makes the heart grow fonder”—had become true in my own life. On July 1, 2023, after Mass and Adoration at St. Thomas Chaldean Catholic Church, I proposed in front of a Pietà statue; the other option was to have Christ the Redeemer in the background. (Shout out to my other younger brother, Jason, for his superb videography skills, and to Navin, my other-other younger brother, for being by my side through the whirlwind of diamond shopping; you're the real MVPs.) I was partial to the latter due to its fittingness: Christ reaching out to embrace you. But what do I know? What Reshmi saw that I couldn't was that proposing in front of the former—a sculpture that depicts Our Lady of Sorrows (Lk. 2:35) cradling the broken, lifeless body of the Suffering Servant (Is. 53)—actually fit the ~vibe~ perfectly. Clearly, I have a lot to learn! * * * To be honest, it’s quirks like that one that keep me hooked. Reshmi, who is made in the image and likeness of God (Gen. 1:26), is ultimately a mystery known fully to Him alone. But God, in His infinite wisdom and goodness, has seen fit to entrust her specially to me. Therefore, she is *my* mystery to behold and to bask in, to love and to cherish. I am blessed beyond measure. (Lk. 1:49.)