...and the proposal story

It was during 8a.m. my first semester at Montana State University. My friend next to me leans over and whispers, hey this guy in front of us is kinda cute. I lean back a little and get a better look. I was one row above this guy in a typical looking, mesh-back hat. I had a boyfriend at the time, so I wasn't thinking much of him. However, excited to set my friend up, I had this great idea to revert back to my middle school self. I conveniently drop my pencil right on the floor next to him. I lean down and say, OH my goodness, I am so sorry! What was your name? He leans down and picks it up, Its Cole, he says. Oh thank you, Cole. I am sorry about that. After that we all get to be great friends and find ourselves laughing frequently. We get to the end of the semester and we realize that we may never see this Cole again! After the final, we all go to the dining hall and say our goodbyes. The very next semester, I have another 8a.m.- this time its a chemistry class. Im sitting in this giant gen-ed lecture hall in the second row from the front. The class is about to start and I look to the far right, and lo and behold: in walks Cole. He sits at the opposite end of the row from me. No way, I say. We sit next to each other along with some of our other mutual friends. The semester goes on, we cause ruckus in this giant classroom. One time the professor stops lecture to yell at us for laughing too much. We even have the recitation portion of the course together, and end up walking across campus after every class. Pretty soon we go to the same church. We were going to dances, learning and practicing aerial moves. He also started working with me at the university ranch. Coincidentally, I was in Billings at the same time he won his rookie auctioneer championship. We just shared so much together. Over time, we started becoming best friends. We fought, we laughed, and learned how to grow up. God absolutely used him in my life in so many ways. He was always there for me. Cole was my encouragement and confidant, even when all I needed was to just talk while he pretended to listen. The Lord also used him in my life to teach me patience, forgiveness, understanding, and worst of all... healthy communication. In all seriousness, Cole's friendship always meant more to me than anything that would come between us. Besides, we did almost everything together so frustration was bound to happen. Fast forward to 2022... Over the years, we became accustomed to people asking us if we were together or why we werent. We became very good at brushing it off. I can even remember a good chunk of time where I was so mad at him that I was glad we werent together. I thought I wanted no part of ever being considered Coles significant other. Well, time moves on and I had realized the summer prior that Cole truly was my best friend. I was not willing to give him up yet. I was waiting to meet the girl of his dreams and then I knew thats when our friendship would have to end.

Mid January, we were in Lewistown, MT for the annual Montana Winter Fair. I was running a booth for the organization I was working for and he was there for the annual Auctioneers Convention. On the last night of the convention, we were hanging out with our family, friends, and some people we met there in Lewistown. These new people were floored why Cole and I werent together. We somehow got around the conversation. Cole didnt end up winning any awards, and my booth was somewhat of a flop. So even though we had some fun, I left the convention tired. I remember going to my air bnb and bawling my eyes out at 2 a.m. while I prayed to God for hours- getting so mad at Him for putting Cole in my life for what seemed like no reason. On Valentines Day, he texted me in the middle of the school day, inviting me to have dinner with his mom who was in town. Needless to say, I cancelled my other plans for that evening... We went to dinner and had a great time. He called me after we got done, and we talked the whole way home- like we always do. Were constantly on the phone with each other, every road trip, every incident, frankly... every little funny thing in our day. That specific night, I had made it home and was still on the phone with him, when he walks through my front door. We continue talking into the wee hours of the night. We have so many good memories together to reminisce on. He had gotten me flowers that day. He handpicked the bouquet, arranged it, and then picked out a yellow ribbon to wrap around the jar (because he knew I loved yellow). He had told me he did it because his grandpa Lanny made him. Soon, we began talking about our friendship and asked why we have never thought about dating each other. After several days of prayer, more late nights just talking through how crazy this is, and seeking the counsel of people were closest with, we finally decide to start dating February 20. Our first date was at Teds Montana grill. We got to the booth and he asked me, what do people even talk about on first dates. I said well Id ask you what your favorite color is, then youd say blue and so on... It was the best first date I had ever been on. It wasnt awkward, I didnt have to think about everything I said or try and think of questions to get to know him. I already knew so much about him, but at the same time I felt like I was just getting started. In between our first and second date was quite eventful. He had to come pick me up from the hospital after a concussion I got at work. Every co-worker I had and all of my bosses called him to come get me, without knowing we were now an item. Later that week, I managed to bury my pick up in a huge snow drift in my boss driveway, while trying to stop some steer calves who had busted out of their pen. Cole had to come drag me out. The next weekend we decided to go as singles to our churchs marriage conference, where we had our second date on the lunch break. Things seemed like they should have been moving too fast, but for some reason everything was just right. A few months later, Cole graduated and received a great offer from a company in Great Falls, MT- about three hours north of where I was going to be. That didnt slow us down even for a second. We had plenty of fun that summer on all kinds of adventures.

Cole was in Bozeman for the weekend mid September. He had said our friend in Ennis needed a hand gathering her cows. So we went down to her place early Saturday the 17th. We trailered up some forest service allotment and unloaded our horses just as the sun was rising. Cole was rearing to go and was already opening the first gate by the time the rest of us were on. Before we all huddle up to make a plan for the day, Cole says he wants to show me something. I didnt think much of that because he knew this pasture pretty well and it was only my second time there. I didnt know where we were going but I knew it would be something cool. I was following behind him on my horse, when he reached back into his saddle bags for something. Hes getting out a pair of roping gloves when he drops them. Oh shoot! Could you grab those for me? he says. I- thinking how much more limber and quick I was than he- jump off my horse to pick up his gloves. I scooped them in my hand and almost through them back to him. He gets off his horse extremely slow, with a super strange look on his face. He grabs the gloves from my hand before I let them fly through the air. Then he drops to one knee... and pulls out a ring box from the gloves. At this point I was floored. I never saw it coming. He asked me to marry him! And I would have said yes if I couldve gotten any sound to come out of my mouth but instead I just nodded and began to cry hysterically. I cant wait to spend forever with my best friend! I can’t believe I get to marry my crush😍 Gods plan is so good, His timing is perfect, and its all just beginning.

Ashley and I met in one of our very first classes as freshmen at Montana State. I remember quite well being seated toward the front, right side of a large and unfamiliar room named Leon Johnson Hall. I didn’t know many people at this time, but it wouldn’t take long before I made the acquaintance of Ashley and her friend Jillian. All thanks to Ashley’s outgoing personality and not-so-subtle, “accidental” drop of a pencil to grab my attention and introduce herself. Over the course of that semester our friendship grew as we struggled to learn about range plants in this class we were taking together. From there it seems a lot of the details start to run together in my mind. It seemed like we had at least a class or two together every single semester during the first couple years of college. And we unintentionally made many memories together during this time. At one point we were reprimanded by our chemistry instructor for laughing too loudly during her lecture. There was another time I needed a shirt ironed so Ashley came to my dorm to show me how to run an ironing machine. We ended up working together at the BART Farm where we worked hard with each other and quite often fought hard with each other; ended up going to church together and then apologizing and forgiving each other for fighting with each other at work. We were house-mates as we called it for a couple semesters and I learned that Ashley made for a good roping dummy (we had lots of fun rope jousting on many occasions). We’d occasionally go ride horses together or work on homework together, and we’d sometimes go help each other try to get dates…or maybe that was mostly her trying to help me now that I think about it. But in all the eventfulness I have previously described, I stand unmoved when I say that I never thought of Ashley as anything more than a friend until the very end of my college career.

Before I can go into too much more detail though, there is an important event that occurred which I must describe because I believe it was a very large part of where we are today. During my sophomore and junior year of college, God laid a question on my heart that changed the direction of my life. The question, “What is really important in this life, and are you living out what you believe it be”. I’ll summarize the details by saying that that year was very challenging, and lot of changes took place in my life. I was in Wyoming for a good majority of this process, and Ashley was still in Bozeman at the place we had rented…but who else did I call on a very regular basis to help me? None other than my friend Ashley. At the time I know I thought highly of Ashley for her spiritual wisdom and dedication to the Lord, but during this time she demonstrated this fact about herself more than ever as I came to her looking for spiritual wisdom and guidance. I feel this time was key to our relationship because I strongly believe during these times, (1) God was preparing me and maturing me to become the man Ashley needed me to be, and (2) he was showing me how much Ashley loved Him, even though it didn’t understand the importance of these things at the time. When I returned to Bozeman she introduced me to someone who began to disciple me and played a large role in helping me in my walk with Christ. During that school year (my junior year), I remember feeling like for the first time possibly ever, I was so focused on God that I didn’t care about pursuing any relationships with any girls. I remember praying on many occasions that I wouldn’t date or pursue another woman until he put one in front of me that was obviously from Him. Some people will say that God doesn’t pick one specific person for you to marry, but that didn’t change my prayers. I had been praying that He would pick one person for me, reveal to me very clearly who that person was, and that he would let me know when the time was right to pursue a romantic-type relationship.

My senior year rolled around I was pretty-well focused in on graduating and having a good job when I was done. Ashley and I were no longer roommates at this point, didn’t have any classes together that I can recall, but still we would see each other at church or school and managed to maintain friendship. It was in that falls semester that God put terrifying thought in my head: “Maybe you should consider a relationship with Ashley…”. I was pretty rejective toward the idea and didn’t think it was a good plan, so naturally I just tried to ignore it. But over time God made it pretty evident that He thought it was a good idea. It seemed like all of a sudden, an abundance of different people were offering the same (at the time) unwanted, advice to “make sure you marry your best friend”. Well, I knew who my best friend was, and I also knew I wasn’t interested in being married to her. Long story short God made it pretty clear what I was supposed to do. And after several months of debating with Him, I decided I needed to tell Ashley what was going on inside my head. I should add that somewhere around this same time I discussed my dilemma with my Grandpa Lanny, a man not quick to offer his opinion at no request. But on that day, he made it known that he was quite fond of me and Ashley being together. And the words he used to express his feelings toward my lack of interest in that idea indicated that I was, well, less than intelligent per se. Anyways, I decided it only right to be honest with my best friend. I remember this evening clearly because I knew what I was about to say and didn’t think it would go over well…but I told her the truth. I stopped at her house on the way home from the store and started the conversation with, “You know, you’re really not my type but I think God wants us to be together.” A line I would not generally recommend, but it worked out in this circumstance. We left that night and said we ought to pray about everything. After a week or so (and some sorting through the pros and cons regarding a change in the status of our relationship), we decided it best to give it a go. At the end of the day, what it really came down to was that neither of us wanted to give up our friendship. We came to the realization that the only way to truly preserve our friendship long term was if we were to get married, and we wouldn’t know if that was in the cards for us unless we pursued a different type of relationship. We went on our first official date on February 25, 2022. We went to Ted’s and had perhaps the most authentic and most fun first date ever. We laughed about the fact that we couldn’t ask any traditional first-date type questions since we already knew each other’s’ answers to all those questions. I kissed Ashley that night because I had never kissed another girl on a first date. I wanted her to be the only girl I ever kissed on a first date because, I knew that night that regardless of whether we ended up getting married or not, she would always have a special place in my heart.

From there on out we just kinda fell in love I suppose. It didn’t take me long to realize she was the one, some might even say it didn’t take me long enough… But all the same it truly felt like God paved the way for us the whole time. I prayed a lot about marrying Ashley before I started to pursue the idea of engagement. I, once again, asked God that He would make it super clear if I was supposed to propose to Ashley or not. Its hard to explain how everything seemingly worked out. It was like I was a puppet and God was pulling all the strings; it was just too easy. From getting the ring, to asking Ashley’s parents (Josh and April) permission, to setting up the right time and place to “pop the question”, for lack of better terms. It seemed everything just fell right into place before me and all I had to do was ask Ashley to marry me. However, shortly before proposing, I still felt like I hadn’t clearly heard an answer from God. I constantly had felt led in all decisions prior, but still left uncertain that it was really what God was wanting. I knew what I wanted, but I wasn’t sure I had God’s backing. Then, in a conversation with Josh and April just two weeks before I had planned to propose, I heard God speak an answer to me through Ashley’s dad. He told me, “if you know, don’t make her wait”. And it was there and then I felt I had heard God speak His answer to me. One week later, I was engaged, looking forward to a lifetime of adventures with my best friend, and grateful that God had a great plan all along. And that leaves us where we are now!