Maid of Honor
The eldest of the Fab 4, in my corner since birth, and someone I'm always extremely grateful to see. Shark-coochie queen, Not-Sissy's-Favorite, and owner of the world's coldest feet. You have kind hair.
Best Man
If you ask Abbey, she'd say I talk to Brice more than I talk to her. She's probably not wrong, you should see the call log on my phone.
Bridesmaid
So many Hansel crisps, paper deadlines, and lessons on NJ culture, though I still can't remember where pork roll and Taylor ham go. She taught me how to simultaneously parallel park and flip off drivers who beep at you, to never let people ruffle your feathers, and that it is always okay to ask for an extension. Love you forever.
Groomsman
Wesley has the meanest hesi step back jumper I've ever seen. For just about every day in middle school, he gave me 50 cents so I could buy the cosmic brownies (I probably owe you some money, big dawg). Wesley's version of Rihanna's "Love on the Brain" is probably worthy of a Grammy (just watch him when it comes on during the reception).
Bridesmaid
Stood in line together to audition for a college dance team, which led to a "Hey, do you want to go to a protest?" text. The rest is history. Lover of Linda's, red hot dogs, and memes of chickens wearing ill-fitting rain boots. Goodnight Frat Court. Who do you know here, Moon?
Groomsman
Kyle once punched a kid on the soccer field who was about to fight me. We also used to carry TVs to each others houses so we could play Call Of Duty side by side (we played tournaments, never lost, and literally ran a gaming center out of business because no one wanted to play against us. Weird flex but.. yeah, we nice).
Bridesmaid
Born 20 days apart and inseparable ever since. Aussie mom, world's best teacher, and funniest person I know. The sunshine to my storm cloud and the Rosie to my Arwen. The goddess divine, I love, I love, I love you.
Groomsman
Joel made me the best burger of all time on the smallest grill of all time. He once moved Abbey's couch out of her dorm with one hand. He also uses the top of cabinets as a normal shelf. He did this all while he taught me what having a BIG heart really means.
Bridesmaid
G$ has been one of my best friends since middle school. A fellow Tar Heel, High School Musical enthusiast, and always down for being weird in public. Plant expert, cat whisperer, and singlehandedly responsible for keeping Pokemon afloat.
Groomsman
Cole told me it was okay if I ever wanted to marry his sister, so I decided I should do that. One of the best huggers I know to this day. When you see Cole, ask him for a hug. He also loves the outdoors, has great taste in music and movies, and is one of the funniest people I've ever met (single ladies, shoot your shot 2021.)
Bridesmaid
The youngest of the Fab 4, sender of the Internet's best tweets, and night shift life-saver. Can always be relied on for snuggles, margs, and Snapchat memories. I will try to make sure there is ham available as a chaser.
Groomsman
I taught Clay how to tie his shoes and cuff his pants. He taught me how to be less of an asshole while sitting on top of a roof. Abbey thinks he didn't do that great of a job, but I'd say that it was an equal trade. Also just random but true, probably the smoothest guy on the dance floor I've ever met.
Bridesmaid
Decided to get lunch together after class because I loudly told someone they were an idiot. Aura reader, resident expert on just about everything, and giver of the most sound advice (even if I don't always take it). Always good for a walk around Target, homework at the mall, and actively choosing when eating gluten is worth getting sick over.
Groomsman
Harrison's Dad told me that Santa Clause wasn't real when I was 7. He just straight up said, "He's not real. Its mom and dad, go to sleep." And if that's not the most Sergio thing ever, I don't know what is. He's always been the responsible one. But seeing him be Harrison's dad makes me realize he's been training with me all along. He's also so much nicer to Harrison and I don't think he's gonna tell him Santa isn't real.