How to Pay for a Wedding (and Plan for a Healthy, Happy Marriage)

Paying for a wedding isn’t just about one day. It’s also an opportunity to figure out how you want to approach finances in marriage. And like everything else between the two of you, the aim here is to be open, transparent, and supportive.

The #1 pain point of couples planning weddings is creating and managing their budgets. That’s why Zola partnered with Ellevest to develop a guide for exactly how to save for and pay for a wedding.

Here’s your practical (and yes, simple … ) guide on how to pay for a wedding.

1. Just blurt out the number.

We all have some ballpark wedding budget number in mind, right? While the average cost of a wedding for couples getting married in 2024 totals around $33,000, your number will be highly personal. Once you’ve dug deep to establish your core values, move on to blurting out the digits bubbling below the surface. Say it together on three … !

2. Go over each other's finances together.

Regardless of what wedding budget either of you want, it’s time to determine what wedding budget you‌ have right now. Don’t jump straight to savings. Don’t mention credit cards. Instead, get a holistic view of both of your finances.

To do this, each of you can calculate your net worth. Add up your total assets (any investments, savings, cash, or equity). Then, subtract that by your total liabilities (debts like student loans, credit cards). Think of this step as laying out the financial puzzle pieces. Even though you’re not putting them together yet, you both can see exactly what you’re working with.

3. Consider family contributions (if offered).

With your current numbers crunched, it’s now worth deciding whether you as a couple want to accept contributions offered by parents or extended family. This can be tricky either way, and the decision is entirely situational. Mull it over together and use your values to help inform your decision.

If you choose to accept the contribution, decide what this lump sum of money means for your wedding budget. Say you have $15K, and your parents want to give you $10K. Are you going to spend less of your own money and contribute $5K to hit your original number? Or does this mean you have more wiggle room at $25K?

4. Negotiate a longer engagement.

You need cash on hand to pay for deposits for all your vendors — anywhere from 25%-50%. So you need to have something stashed away before invoices can be signed or deposits can be made. In many ways, it pays off to be logical about your timeframe. After all, a longer engagement means more time to save and more time to score deals or DIY.

5. Set a budget you can stick to.

At this point, you probably have a good idea of how much your wedding budget will be. But now it’s finally time to put official numbers on paper. Here’s some tips for setting a wedding budget you can stick to:

• Take a look at Zola’s wedding budget checklist. This way you can make sure you have all the major categories covered
• Leave room for incidental expenses. Your budget should account for financial surprises when you’re saving for a wedding (because they’ll happen).
• If you think you’re going to splurge, leave room to splurge. You know your spending habits best! And your wedding budget should include everything, because your budget is your spending limit.
• Assign a job for each dollar. Your money will work harder for you if each dollar in your budget has a purpose. Set dollar ranges for each service or expense, and adjust the numbers as you go. Zola's budget tool provides budget allocation recommendations for spending categories, which helps with this.
• Bring every purchase back to your core values. You should only spend money on things that matter to you. Practice intentional spending until the very end to help determine if you’re making meaningful choices or rash decisions with your wedding budget.

6. Schedule wedding budget (and well-being) check-ins.

We can say it because we’ve been there: Even with all this prep and saving for a wedding, it can be hard to stick to a wedding budget. To stay on track, schedule regular check-ins with your fiancé to discuss what’s been spent so far, what needs to be spent, and by when it all needs to be purchased. Use these check-ins to ask each other how you’re doing, too. Be open about how money stress might be affecting your well-being and how you might better manage it. This is a good habit to set up now; in fact, research suggests that 78% of couples who talk about money every week say they’re happy, but only 60% of couples who talk about money every few months — and half of couples who talk money less often — said the same thing.

7. Open a joint savings account that works hard for you.

This might be the first time you’re joining assets, which might feel a little weird or scary. But saving for a wedding using a joint account now can be good practice for working toward your financial goals as a married couple: It’s a safe and transparent space to test communication and develop habits. It might also give you a good idea if you want to continue combining finances after marriage or maintain separate accounts for marriage finances, which is more and more the norm.

Logistically, a joint savings account keeps all your wedding spending in one place so it’s easier to manage. Open an FDIC-insured high-yield savings account to take advantage of the extra interest. Financial confidence takes more prep work than tossing numbers into a spreadsheet, especially when there’s two of you. It also involves aligning your spending plan with your values and syncing your savings plan with your goals.

Special offers from Ellevest

Get two months free as an Ellevest client, including a complimentary 20-minute financial consultation with one of their experts, when you sign up for Zola texts. You’ll also unlock more Treat Codes for special deals on brands we love (Like Rent the Runway and Dame) for more savings and self-care.

Our friends at Ellevest also offer a Couples' Financial Planning + Unlimited Support package, where an Ellevest CFP® pro can help you plan for your financial future together.

If you need help making or keeping track of your expenses, use our wedding budget tracker. This will take you to a fully customizable budget sheet you can update throughout wedding planning. No stress, no mysterious expenses.

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Ellevest, Inc. is an SEC-registered investment adviser. Ellevest fees and additional information can be found at www.ellevest.com.