As we truck around the world, you KNOW we're going to go out of our way to eat the craziest possible shit available -- anything oversized, served in excessive quantities, containing questionable ingredients, or prepared in an extreme culinary manner is fair game! If you're ready to enable our left-of-center gastronomic habits, we're prepared to try 100-year-old eggs, stinky cheeses, deep-fried butter, lutefisk, blowfish, bugs -- but please no organ meat, blood, testicles, or eyeballs. And should you locate some off-the-wall food that you REALLY want us to try, attach a note to your contribution, and we'll do our damnedest to make it happen -- then send you a picture, description, and possibly-a-gift-wrapped-sample of whatever bizarre thing we're consuming in your name. Muwah!

We're not picky about where we sleep -- honestly, we prefer off-the-beaten-path-making-memories-is-more-important-than-a-good-night's-rest accommodations over a five-star hotel. As we travel the world, we might find ourselves shacked up in a treehouse, underwater/underground, upside down, dangling from a cliff face, in a sewage pipe, on a platform in the middle of the Serengeti, or incarcerated. (Those are all real things.) Regardless, if you sponsor our nightly honeymoon repose, we'll be sure to let you know what it was like resting our heads on a skull or a rock or an ice block or a robotic pillow. (Again, all real things!) And should you locate some off-the-wall sleeping arrangement that you REALLY want us to try, attach a note to your contribution, and we'll do our damnedest to make it happen -- then send you a picture, description, and possibly-stolen-soaps from whatever bizarre place we're staying in your name. Muwah!

One of the nicest things about being on a year-long vacation is that tomorrow is NEVER a work day! (And traveling across numerous time zones means it's always 5 o'clock somewhere you've recently been!) We will admit a weakness for trying cray-cray local potions -- especially when they include ingredients like horse milk, a mummified toe, lizards, spit, dog penis, bacon, reindeer horn, or a dead seagull. (Well, maybe not that last one.) If you act as an enabler for our alcoholic indulgences, we promise not to report you to Al-Anon. And should you locate some off-the-wall refreshment that you REALLY want us to try, attach a note to your contribution, and we'll do our damnedest to make it happen -- then send you a picture, description, and possibly-a-bottle of whatever bizarre thing we're drinking in your name. Muwah!

As we wanderlust across the continents, we'll be on the lookout for the most over-the-top-memorable (as well as inconvenient-and-likely-highly-painful) transportation methods available -- camel, rickshaw, glider plane, gondola, deep-sea-submersible, husky sled, Orient Express, missile-carrier. (We are not making a single one of these up!) And should you locate some off-the-wall get-us-from-point-A-to-point-B vehiculation that you REALLY want us to try, attach a note to your contribution, and we'll do our damnedest to make it happen -- then send you a picture, description, and name whatever bizarre travel-related-injury after you. Muwah!

We do love the out-of-doors -- although it doesn't always love us back! Rappelling down a rock face, crawling through a two-inches-too-small cave tunnel, trying control a raft as it hurtles over a waterfall, storm chasing, sliding toward a lava pit on a wood plank. ("Volcano boarding" -- we can't wait to try it!) Can you blame us for viewing nature as one big adrenaline rush, when it's always trying to kill us? (But if you insist on us spending your honeymoon funds sitting calmly by a lake with an adult beverage in hand -- we'll be happy to comply!) And should you locate some off-the-wall al fresco recreational diversion that you REALLY want us to try, attach a note to your contribution, and we'll do our damnedest to make it happen -- then send you a picture, description, and possibly-pint-of-spilled-blood from whatever bizarre risk we're taking in your name. Muwah!

We loves our critters -- and everyone else's, too. Aside from the rule that we are NOT allowed to touch them raggedy-ass stray dogs in India, we will most assuredly pet anything-and-everything-wild-kingdom-esque that comes our way. If you're as big an animal lover, we're happy to share our collecting of camel fleas, giraffe snot, lemur screams, tiger whisker-tickles, birdie nibbles, kangaroo sniffings, and monkey slobber with you! And should you locate some off-the-wall four-legged/finned/winged/exoskeletonal encounter that you REALLY want us to try, attach a note to your contribution, and we'll do our damnedest to make it happen -- then send you a picture, description, and possibly-a-clump-of-hair from whatever bizarre thing we're loving on in your name. Muwah!

When we travel, we don't want to be seen as "tourists" -- we prefer to jump right in with both feet and act like we belong there. If the locals are walking on hot coals, engaging in a tomato fight, camel-wrestling, getting inked-or-pierced, allowing monkeys to dine from their buffet table, or kissing a fish -- dammit, so are we. We'll be wearing their clothes, attending their performances, enjoying their music, dancing their polkas. (When in Rome. Or Mumbai. Or Bratislava.) And should you locate some off-the-wall tradition that you REALLY want us to try, attach a note to your contribution, and we'll do our damnedest to make it happen -- then send you a picture, description, and possibly-inappropriately-appropriated-memento from whatever bizarre thing we're doing in your name. Muwah!

We go out of our way to find "signature" activities that can only be experienced in that place -- many of which, even the locals didn't know about until we came along. Whether we're talking extreme tides, tallest mountains, deepest caverns -- natural formation or world-wonder -- piece of history or modern-day celebration -- ecotourism or volunteering stint -- elephant-bathing, jellyfish-swimming, great-wall-hiking, barrier-reef-diving, kilimanjaro-climbing -- it's on the itinerary! And should you locate some off-the-wall activity that you REALLY want us to try, attach a note to your contribution, and we'll do our damnedest to make it happen -- then send you a picture, description, and possibly-some-weirdo-keepsake from whatever bizarre thing we're doing in your name. Muwah!

Yes, we do actually plan to make time for just doing nothing -- I promise! But we'll also be looking for more "active" forms of chillaxing -- being slapped with banana leaves during a massage, stumbling around in a pool of red wine, being coated in chocolate, baking in a kiln, throwing dinner plates at a wall. And should you locate some off-the-wall de-stressing method that you REALLY want us to try, attach a note to your contribution, and we'll do our damnedest to make it happen -- then send you a picture, description, and a bit of holy-crap-I've-never-been-this-relaxed-in-my-life drool from whatever bizarrely tranquil thing we're doing in your name. Muwah!