How to Write a Wedding Toast: The Ultimate Guide

TLDR

• Giving a speech at a wedding reception is an honor, whether you're a parent, sibling, friend, or member of the wedding party.
• Being nervous is normal, but with practice, you can bring a well-thought-out wedding toast to life.
• Include things like memories and anecdotes without being crude or revealing embarrassing information.

Your best friend is getting married, and you’ve been asked to give the best wedding toast. It’s an incredible honor. However, let’s be honest—it can also be a bit nerve-wracking (cue beads of sweat!) but it doesn't have to be.

Whether you’re the best man, maid of honor, or a cherished family member, crafting the perfect wedding toast doesn’t have to be daunting. Zola’s team of experts will help you craft a heartfelt wedding toast that will have everyone raising their glasses with joy. Who knows? Someone may even shed a tear or two.

How to craft the perfect wedding toast speech

1. Understand what a wedding toast is.

At its core, a wedding toast is a gesture of love and support for the newlyweds. Therefore, seize the opportunity to share your feelings, memories, and wishes for the couple in their new journey A great toast strikes the perfect balance between humor and sincerity, but it also includes personal anecdotes and universal truths about love. To create a memorable toast, focus on sincerity, brevity, and celebrating the couple.

Remember, your words will become a cherished part of the couple’s wedding memories, and the purpose of a wedding toast goes beyond simply entertaining the guests. It’s a chance to:

• Celebrate the couple’s love story
• Share insights into their characters and relationship
• Offer wisdom or advice for a happy marriage
• Express your happiness and support for their union

2. Make sure your toast flows well.

A well-structured toast helps you deliver your message clearly and keeps the audience engaged. Whichever structure you choose, make sure it feels natural and authentic to your relationship with the couple.

While there’s no one-size-fits-all approach, here are some popular formats to consider:

• The chronological approach: Start with how you met the couple (or one of them) and progress through significant moments in their relationship.
• The theme-based approach: Choose a central theme (e.g., adventure, growth, or partnership) and build your toast around it.
• The problem-solution approach: Begin with a challenge the couple faced and show how their love helped them overcome it.

Here’s a basic outline to help you get started:

• Introduction - Introduce yourself and your relationship to the couple
• Body - Share 2-3 anecdotes or thoughts about the couple
• Conclusion - Offer congratulations and a wish for their future

3. Add personality to your wedding speech.

The heart of any great wedding toast lies in its personal stories, which bring your words to life and allow guests to connect with the couple on a deeper level. When choosing stories to share, consider the following tips:

• Select stories that highlight the couple’s best qualities
• Ensure the anecdotes are appropriate for all audience members
• Choose moments that showcase the couple’s love and compatibility
• If possible, include a story that many guests can relate to
• Sharing a funny story can capture the audience's attention and make the speech more memorable

When crafting your anecdotes, strike a balance between humor and sentimentality. While funny stories can lighten the mood, heartfelt moments can bring depth to your toast. The key is to choose stories relevant to the couple and resonating with their love story.

4. Tailor your toast to the relationship.

The nature of your relationship with the couple should influence the content and tone of your toast. Here's a quick guide, depending on who is giving the toast:

Best man/maid of honor:

• Share personal stories about your friendship with the bride or groom
• Balance humor with sincere reflections on their character
• Offer insights into the couple's relationship from your unique perspective

Parent of the bride/groom:

• Reflect on watching your child grow up
• Welcome your new son/daughter-in-law to the family
• Share wisdom or advice for a happy marriage

Sibling:

• Reminisce about childhood memories
• Highlight the changes you’ve seen in your sibling since meeting their partner
• Express your joy at gaining a new sibling through marriage

For example, if you’re the sister of the bride, you have a unique opportunity to reminisce about childhood memories. You can also highlight the changes you’ve seen in your sibling since meeting their partner while expressing your joy at gaining a new sibling.

5. Consider using technology to up your toasting game.

In today’s digital age, there are innovative ways to enhance your wedding toast using tech. Consider these ideas:

• Create a slideshow of photos to accompany your speech
• Use a digital prompter app on your phone or tablet for seamless delivery
• Incorporate a pre-recorded video message from loved ones who couldn’t attend
• Live-stream your toast for guests joining remotely

Zola’s integrated wedding websites offer features that can complement your toast, such as displaying photos or sharing your speech text afterward for guests to revisit. Additionally, consider using the rehearsal dinner as an opportunity to practice and refine your toast in a more intimate and casual setting.

Test any technology beforehand to ensure smooth integration during the actual toast. The last thing you want is to have a glitch as everyone anticipates your speech. If you need ideas on how to incorporate tech, check below.

• Photo slideshow - Visually engaging, reinforces stories
• Digital prompter - Smooth delivery without paper notes
• Video messages - Includes distant loved ones in celebration
• Live-streaming - Connects with remote guests in real-time

6. End on a high note.

The conclusion of your toast is your final opportunity to leave a lasting impression and create a memorable toast. Here are some tips for crafting a memorable ending:

• Summarize your main points or the couple’s journey together
• Offer a heartfelt wish for their future
• Raise your glass and invite others to join in the toast
• Keep the final lines simple, sincere, and easy to remember

For example: “To [Couple’s names], may your love continue to grow stronger with each passing day. Here’s to a lifetime of happiness, laughter, and adventure together. Cheers!”

7. Practice makes perfect.

The success of your wedding toast isn’t just about what you say, but how you say it. Confidence is key, and there are several techniques you can employ to ensure a smooth delivery. Whether you’re a pro at public speaking or prefer to be a fly on the wall, here are a few tips to perfect your toast.

Practicing for a smooth delivery:

• Rehearse your speech multiple times in front of a mirror or trusted friend
• Record yourself and listen back to identify areas for improvement
• Time your speech to ensure it falls within the 3-5 minute sweet spot
• Memorize key points rather than reading verbatim from notes

Maintaining eye contact and enthusiasm:

• Make eye contact with various guests throughout the room
• Use natural hand gestures to emphasize points
• Smile and convey genuine emotion through your facial expressions
• Vary your tone and pace to keep the audience engaged

How to avoid common wedding toast pitfalls

Even with the best intentions, it’s easy to stumble into common toast mistakes. Never fear, Zola has you covered! By being aware of these pitfalls and considering the wedding guests, you can craft a speech that avoids potential awkwardness. When in doubt, always err on the side of caution.

It’s better to keep things simple and heartfelt than to risk a joke or story that might fall flat or offend. Here are a few swaps you can make to keep couth.

• Shy away from inside jokes - Stick to stories that everyone can appreciate
• Ban offensive humor - Keep jokes tasteful and appropriate for all ages
• Keep from rambling - Practice your speech to stay concise and on-topic
• Never mention exes - Focus on the couple's present and future, not past relationships
• Don't drink alcohol beforehand - Save celebratory drinks for after your toast

FAQ about common wedding toast concerns

Q: How do I handle nerves before giving my toast? A: Take deep breaths, practice positive visualization, and remember that the audience is rooting for your success.

Q: Is it okay to use humor in a wedding toast? A: Yes, but ensure the humor is appropriate and doesn’t overshadow sincere sentiments about the couple.

Q: Should I mention the couple’s future plans in my toast? A: It’s generally safe to mention broad hopes for their future, but avoid disclosing specific plans without the couple’s permission.

Q: How do I gracefully end my toast if I notice I’m going on too long? A: Summarize your main point, offer a heartfelt wish for the couple, and raise your glass to conclude. Remember, wedding speeches should ideally be concise, under five minutes, to keep the audience engaged.

Q: Is it appropriate to talk about how the couple met if their story is unconventional? A: Focus on the positive aspects of their relationship and how they complement each other, rather than dwelling on potentially sensitive details.

Resources to help you write the perfect toast

Need a bit of extra help in writing a toast? Consult the following resources to help you and get your creative juices flowing.

• Toastmasters International - Public speaking tips and resources
• TED Talks on public speaking - Expert tips for confident presentations
• Zola blog - Wedding planning advice and inspiration

Ready to start crafting your perfect wedding toast? Zola's comprehensive wedding planning tools can help you every step of the way. From managing your speech notes to coordinating with other wedding party members, our platform streamlines the entire process. Visit Zola today to explore our free planning resources and ensure your toast is just one part of a seamlessly organized celebration.